Surviving the query trenches
(The one where I tell you about magic jars)
You wrote the Great American Novel. It’s gone through several rounds of beta-reads and feedback from people who aren’t related to you. You’ve meticulously researched your dream agents by reading the acknowledgment section of your favorite books and scouring Querytracker. You are ready to dive into the #querytrenches.
And then you hit send. And wait.
Querying is an exciting and terrifying time for any aspiring author. It’s a huge step in your process of becoming a published author but also comes with a ton of rejection.
Below are a few things that helped my mental health during my time in the trenches.
Community is everything. Connect with other authors who are at the same stage as you and commiserate with them. Set check-ins to see how you are each feeling and provide support. If they are feeling dejected, maybe suggest that they take a break for a week. Or, if they got their first request, encourage them to send out five more queries in the next week. It can feel very lonely when you are at this stage so finding your people is critical.
Query jars. I learned about the magic of the query jars from my critique partner, Olivia Jackson. She recommended that I have two jars when I queried: one for requests and one for rejections. For each full or partial request, you place $10 into the jar. For each rejection, you place $5. Whenever you are feeling down and like no one will ever love your work, you empty the rejection jar and treat yourself to something like chocolate, wine, and a pedicure. Whatever would make you feel better. When you get an offer of representation, you use the request jar to buy fancy champagne or your extra special treat of choice.
Work on something new. By the time you are querying your book, its future is out of your hands for the time being. I highly recommend starting a new project. It will provide an excellent distraction from refreshing your inbox and also show you that you have more than one story to tell. Most people don’t get offered representation on their first book. For many, it’s several books. The only thing you can control in the highly subjective publishing world is your own creative output. Pouring your heart out onto the page. Writing books that make you proud.
Good luck! And don’t forget the power of dark chocolate and a funny meme shared between friends as survival techniques.
What I’m reading
Rachel Runya Katz’s Thank You for Sharing was a heartfelt, hot ride. Its two main characters are Jewish and underrepresented minorities, and it deftly navigates issues of identity, family, and trauma. It’s a beautiful book.
Falon Ballard’s third romance, Right on Cue, is a sexy and smart romance about a screenwriter and the leading man who made her quit acting. It’s out on February 27, 2024.
What I’m Eating
This time of year can be incredibly hectic. That’s why I love Martha Stewart’s one-pan pasta dish. It’s super easy and clean-up is a cinch. Enjoy!
Such great tips! Finding your people really is so important (I'm so glad you're one of mine!!), and starting a new project has quite literally saved my mental health during this query process!
Starting soon and so grateful to have our group for support. I intend to use the magic jars with one caveat, or rather addition - I'll be adding a shot of my Writer's Tears Whiskey into the ritual. ;-)