First sentences that sing

(The one where I break down why these are the most valuable real estate in a book)

Think of first lines as the bodybuilders of fiction. You have to convey tone, point-of-view, curiosity, and clarity in one sentence. That’s a lot of heavy lifting.

In the time of excellent television and movies, attention spans are short. You need to hook the reader from the very first line and not let them go.

First, let’s discuss what not to do. In the spirit of being vulnerable, I’ll share my original first line from my first book, Loose Lips Sink Ships. It was critiqued on the April 12, 2023 episode of “The Shit No One Tells You About Writing,” during which, the hosts correctly pointed out that you probably shouldn’t swear in the first line of a rom-com.

While this sentence certainly conveyed tone and point-of-view, was it very clear? Some readers thought I meant actual sh*t, not just food stuck in between the date’s teeth. Luckily, by the time I queried the book, the first chapter had been cut, and this opening line died a slow death in a forgotten Word doc.

Let’s turn to some first sentences that would make Mr. Olympia-era Arnold Schwarzenegger proud.

In Emily Henry’s Book Lovers, we learn several things from her first sentence. The protagonist works in books, considers books “her life,” and she’s cynical. Also, she plants the seed of “guessing where a story is going,” which is what all readers naturally do.

The first line in Kate Clayborn’s Georgie, All Along, tells the reader so much about Georgie and her self-perception. Can’t you hear the world-weariness in the “well, well, well?” The use of the phrase “yet another” makes me think that she’s reinvented herself several times before and is getting bored with it. It gives us so much insight into the main character and makes her beautifully vulnerable.

My last example comes from my friend Ellie Palmer forthcoming debut, Four Weekends and a Funeral. (Out on August 6, 2024, and available for pre-order!) This is what I call a spit-take first line. One that is so good, so surprising, that you’d spit your coffee out. How would you not want to gobble up this book after reading that? (Spoiler: you won’t be able to).

If you are trying to fine-tune your first sentences, I recommend following Becca Heyman (@beccafaithheyman on Instagram) who does First Line Frenzy, in which she critiques submitted first lines. You will learn so much from what others do well, and what she corrects.

What are some of your favorite first lines? Hit me up in the comments.

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What I’m Reading

I am abominably late to the B.K. Borrison party, but am quickly making up for lost time. Lovelight Farms is the first book in her Lovelight series, and you will fall in love with the small town, and its adorable citizens. It had real Gilmore Girls vibes. Stella’s Christmas tree farm is hemorrhaging money and her last ditch effort to save it involves winning prize money from an influencer. Small problem: she said that her boyfriend works with her. She convinces her longtime BFF (and crush) Luka to serve as her “fake boyfriend” but soon realizes their feelings might be something real.

Annabel Monaghan has done it again! If you loved Nora Goes Off Script or Same Time Next Summer you will love Summer Romance as well. This one might be the most nostalgic. It made me think a lot about the roles we play in each of our families and how hard it can be to change them--even when they don't fit you anymore. (I can't be the only person who regresses to my 13-year-old self after three days with my family, right??)

Ali Morris hasn't felt like herself in years. Not since she got unexpectedly pregnant and got married to Peter, eventually having two more children that did nothing to strengthen their tenuous bond. And then her mother passed and the glue that kept her going went away. After finally moving forward with her divorce from Peter, she meets a handsome stranger named Ethan who makes her feel like the old version of herself. Turns out Ethan is "Scooter" the troublemaking younger brother of her best friend who had a reputation for screwing up during childhood. But that old label doesn't fit him anymore despite how the town seems to view him. When they spend time together, Ali and Ethan seem to be the best versions of themselves. Is it just a summer romance or something more? It releases on June 4, 2024.

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What I’m Eating

I’m constantly on the hunt for recipes that will satisfy my family. Cooking with Gaby is a great resource for simple, weeknight cooking. I’ve made her Chicken Parmesan Meatballs several times, and they are a hit.